Walking Through Dementia, Faith, and the Gift of Incremental Mourning
There is a kind of grief that no one really prepares you for.
It doesn’t come after a funeral.
It doesn’t arrive all at once.
It begins quietly… while your loved one is still here.
Walking through my mom’s journey with dementia, I’ve come to understand this reality in a way I never expected:
you can begin mourning someone before they’re gone.
At first, this felt confusing—even wrong.
How do you grieve someone you can still sit beside?
Someone you can still hold?
Someone whose presence is still physically there… but is slowly changing?
Dementia doesn’t take a person all at once.
It happens in pieces.
A memory fades.
A familiar expression disappears.
A conversation becomes harder to follow.
And with each small loss, there is a quiet grief that follows behind it.
You don’t collapse under the weight of it all at once.
Instead, you carry it… little by little.
And over time, I began to see something I never expected to find in this experience:
Grace.
Not because this journey is easy.
Not because it’s something I would ever choose.
But because in His mercy, God is not asking me to carry the full weight of loss in a single moment.
He is preparing my heart… slowly.
Gently.
Faithfully.
This “incremental mourning” allows space for something profound.
It allows space for love—to still be expressed in the present moment.
It allows space for presence—to sit, to hold, to care.
It allows space for gratitude—even in the midst of sorrow.
I still have moments with my mom.
I still get to be with her.
And at the same time, I am learning to let go—not all at once, but in pieces.
There is something deeply human about that.
And something deeply spiritual.
Because even here, in the slow goodbye, God is present.
He meets us in the tension between holding on and letting go.
He walks with us through every small loss, every quiet sorrow, every moment we don’t quite have words for.
If you are walking this road—if you are caring for someone with dementia, or watching someone you love slowly fade—I want you to hear this clearly:
You are not alone.
This kind of grief is real.
It matters.
And it deserves to be acknowledged.
And somehow, in a way only God can bring about, it can also carry meaning.
Not because the suffering itself is good…
…but because God is.
And He does not waste even the most painful moments of our lives.
Watch the Full Episode
If this reflection resonates with you, I share more of this journey in our recent episode of Warriors for Life:
👉 https://www.youtube.com/live/KadDibljPAs?si=IatWrNjcUEn4YKWJ
Share Your Story
If you’ve experienced this kind of grief, I would truly love to hear from you.
Your story matters.
And your voice may help someone else feel less alone.
Elizabeth Sutcliffe
Catholic Speaker | Author | Pro-Life Advocate
Founder, Elizabeth Speaks Truth
Elizabeth Sutcliffe 